One free day

Today was the first day since finishing exams that I haven't had to go to work.

I don't know why this should seem like such a surprise to myself - but it is. I didn't even realize I had agreed to work quite that much and all of a sudden I am working beyond belief.

Would be a lot better if I didn't feel like I was still struggling financially - I am aware that I'm not actually struggling - money is just such an elusive measure. You have it, until you don't. (huh, philosophical there!)


But in all seriousness - its like no matter how much more I make, it doesn't seem quick enough or that it will last me til my next pay cycle (even though it always does). Stupid really, but a fact of life.

I have been panicking a little bit recently about my exams, struggling to find what I am going to do if I fail. It really isn't the end of the world - but it isn't a fun thought either.

In other news, I have enjoyed this day off pretty well. Breakfast with the in-laws, lunch with the boy, did my washing and now watching some Grey's Anatomy whilst writing a blog. Definitely could have had a worse day.

Big day tomorrow, working 9am - 9pm for good ol' Tom, back to back five hours shift with a two hour break. I'm actually quite excited for it. Although I am not all that good at getting up early enough for a 9am start. Although I am sure I will, it is going to be slightly difficult for me to do so. 

The money is definitely worth the slight torment though. Definitely.

And now I am going to play some Zelda and have some good funtimes. see ya'll later

xx

My University Career In Numbers

• 3.5 years
• 7 semester
• 24 subjects
• 15 maths
• 4 Breadth
• 3 Chemistry
• 2 Physics
• 20 exams (at least 70%)
• 0 fails*
• >60 written assignments
• >300 pages of written assignments
• 6 Essays [10 000 word count]
• 4 foam parties
• 6 EOX 
• 1 Paint'n'Glow
• 2 Prosh Weeks
• 1 Long Drive

• 3 Productions
• 10 jobs
• 2 overseas trips
• 10 countries
• countless adventures
• 1 Road Trip
• 6 seasons of Volleyball
• 8 seasons of Netball
• 2 seasons of Basketball
• 1 Premiership
• 7 Runners up
• 1 club Best & Fairest
• 2 years FLW committee 
• Social Officer 2011-12
• Company Manger 2012-13
• 2 subjects as Class Rep
• Countless free BBQ's  

Finally Free - I hope

Well.

These past 3 weeks have been a blur, of studying and crying.
of eating and sleeping.
rinse and repeat.

It has been a hard slog.

and I'm not even sure if I have passed.

I have a sick empty feeling inside that is saying to me - you haven't passed.

It's such a possibility.

Such a big, brutal possibility.

What do I do when or if that happens?

For now I wait. I wait with abated breath.

with strong, strong levels of concern.

A feeling deep in my stomach that feels like I am constantly on the verge of throwing up.

Although I think that is a little (or a lot) to do with the other things going on at the moment.

Somebody asked me about it, and I said it was the emotional equivalent of being kicked in the nuts. I don't know what that feels like, but if I did, I would say it was something like this.

Something I should have realized was on the cards to be honest - and yet it still came as such a shock. Like a slap to the face, or an unexpected glass of water.

I want to say now is a bad time, but is there ever a good time? Probably not. Just wish I knew if I was passing or failing first. That would be nice.

Studying.

When it is all you do that your brain turns to mush.
Feels like a contradiction in terms.  (I still hear that in Guido Contini's voice - Nine)
So tired. So desperate for it to all be over.
Cannot wait for the freedom on the other side.

Struggling.

To keep on track.

To study.

To feel as though the end is really near.

It all feels too far away, too surreal.

Exciting. Nerve Racking.

Petrifying (yeah, still have to actually sit those exams I am destined to fail)

What if I do fail?

scared. nervous. excited.

First line of credit

10,000

that is how much my bank thinks I can afford to spend; to be in debt. 

It was an interesting (nerve racking) experience applying for a credit card.

I actually applied for two, was declined by one but accepted by the other.

This was actually what I expected. The one that declined is not with my bank (and is my pre card) but I knew my bank account would be more inclined to approve me.

It is an interesting premise though, that one bank thinks I am stable enough to have a 10k limit (which is ridiculous mind you, more than a quarter of my current annual wage) and another isn't even willing to give me 500 flat.

I plan on applying for that card again in 2 months time, when I will have credit history (ta-da the reason I applied for the card I have been approved for in the first place).

For any one who is interested its because it is the best card in the market to use as a travel card (no international transaction fees, no charge for withdrawal from international ATMS and no conversion fee) I just need to convince them I'm not a credit risk before October. Shouldn't be too difficult. right?

In other news, looking for a room mate. I have asked somebody (who I think would work well in housemate dynamics/is a pretty awesome friend) but it all depends still.

Can't afford the place by ourselves though. 

Especially with all the money I wish to spend on my upcoming trip! really excited, in case you couldn't tell

In other news, turns out I am pretty good at getting people employed! A family friend, and that same really good friend are both starting at work #2 soon. Good too, as staff are dropping like flies here. (Almost as regularly as the literal flies)

This past week has been a tough one, exam study, assignments, essay prep, work work work. But now the fun REALLY starts. Hello Swot Vac, my old fiend.

Petrified. So. So Petrified.